Here I Am, Send Me

More.
More churning of the heart.
More knotting of the stomach.
More tears that threaten eyes.
More anxiousness to do something. Anything.
Lord, send me.
Take my life as an offering.

Rwanda.  I commit.
Summer of 2012.
Rwanda.  I search.
I beckon my heart to be pierced.
It comes swiftly and I'm broken.
Broken hearted for a broken world.
For a lost and lonely people.
For stomachs that knot and hearts that churn and tears that threaten
for food and clean water and medicine and hope.

What will come of this.
I read. Kisses from Katie.
Her heart was shattered for Uganda, for the children.
She was ruined from the states.
Oh, I see this in my future.
I'm halfway there.
I cannot hardly do anything at all without thinking of them.
The children who will die today of malnutrition.

I will go to Rwanda.
And I will be ruined.
I have no idea what will happen after this.
But I cannot wait.  I cannot wait.
Its in His will and I feel it in the marrow of my bones.
He spoke it to me weeks ago as I prayed.
I have a piece of you in Africa, go get it.
I have a piece of your story.  Of your children's story.
Go, experience, feel, taste, see, hear, smell.
Retrieve.
Return, and be changed forever.